Happy New Year 2016!

Interestingly enough, I did not post this last year. It makes me then wonder what was going through my mind at the time. I had lost my grandmother only the week before and my aunt the week prior. With so much on one's mind, it's a wonder that we can push ourselves to keep going. 2014 and 2015 have shown me that people are not immortal. The people who raised me have always come off as omnipotent and invincible to me, these protectors sent from God himself. I now know that they are flawed, that they are not close to one another as I thought they were. This doesn't mean that I love them less. However, I form a different perspective as I walk into my tenth year with my partner already with names in mind for our children. So Ayden, Kaleb, Nathaniel Essex, Thalia, Nyssa and Rachel Isabella, this is to you and to the future we look forward to: 1. "O Holy Night" by Josh Groban 2. "Crush" by Glee Cast 3. "Ode to Oren Ishii" by RZA 4. "Because" by Dana Fuchs and Evan Rachel Wood and Jim Sturgess and Joe Anderson and Martin Luther McCoy and T.V. Carpio 5. "Book of Days" by Enya 6. "When I Get My Name in Lights" by Mitchel David Federan and Ensemble 7. "Amsterdam" by Imagine Dragons 8. "Caribbean Blue" by Enya 9. "Trust Me" by Tony Roberts & Julie Andrews 10. "Mille Lune Mille Onde" by Andrea Bocelli 11. "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers 12. "Hot Child in the City" by Nick Gilder 13. "Cutting the Thread" by Orchestra (Disney's Hercules) 14. "Overture" by Orchestra (The Producers) 15. "II. Andante Con Moto" by Carlos Kleiber & Wiener Philharmoniker Fifteen songs for twelve months. From the looks of it, it looks like a roller coaster of emotions. Is there a point in preparing oneself? Probably not but I am still a firm believer in a soundtrack of life. We make the most of it. Happy New Year 2016!

Happy New Year 2014!!!

Another year, same tradition. Can we honestly say that it possible to have a soundtrack of life? Is there that particular song or album or mix that defined our ages? If so, is it possible to predict what the year will look like with a set of songs that play, say for the first hour of the new year? This is my concept. This past year has come with its share of heartbreak as I lost my aunt to liver cancer. I was raised by my aunts, uncle and grandparents in Haiti but my aunts played a stronger, maternal role to me that I felt more comfortable with. As I age though, it's becoming more and more clear that they are also getting older and as I have lost my third family member now, it's only become harder. I can't lie about this. I know I have to be strong and I must brace myself for the simple fact that this is life and that the bigger one's family is, the more heartbreak they have to go through over and over again. Every time I look at another aunt heading to work or a cousin smiling just for the sake of smiling even if it looks silly, I feel that twinge of fear again, of what I'm afraid to lose. It becomes disconcerting when the people that you regarded so high and as your guardians and protector start getting weak and you have to be strong for them. On that note, starting the year on a negative note can never be a good sign. That being said, I will turn around and look at what's here now with my family gathered in the living and the online chat room with my cousins from other countries. That being said, here is the soundtrack for the year: - 'Tell Him the Truth' by Keri Hilson - 'Pièces en Concert in G minor for Cello and Strings: II. Sicilienne' by Elemér Lavotha, Kalmar County Chamber Orchestra and Jan-Olav Wedin - 'Mesa Apo Sena' by Euanthia Rempoutsika - 'My Favorite Things' by Rodger & Hammerstein - 'Fine' by Whitney Houston - 'A La Dérive' by Eric Charles - 'The Old Vienna' by Gunnar Madsen - 'Satellite' by Kram - 'Like Glue' by Sean Paul - 'Flight' by Hans Zimmer - 'Le nozze di Figaro, K. 492, Act III: "Ecco la Marcia" by Sir Neville Marriner & The Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields - '(You Drive Me) Crazy (The Stop Remix)' by Britney Spears - 'Villain' by Jennifer Lopez - 'Bonafide' by X2c - 'She's Got a Way' by Michael Cavanaugh - 'Seasons of Love' by Original Broadway Cast - 'Save Me' by Nicki Minaj. So what does this mean? It honestly depends on who you are. Maybe the year needs to start with you being honest with someone with 'Tell Him the Truth' or you'll be going somewhere in the middle of the year with 'Flight' and possibly fall in love at the end of the year with 'Seasons of Love' and 'Save Me'. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. You'd be surprised at how much of a role your state of mind can play on the events that make up your year. Don't overthink things. Don't dwell so much in the past and learn to live today without jeopardizing your future. Just a thought. Happy New Year! :-)

Happy New Year 2013!

Last night was the first time in a long time that I rang in the new year with a good portion of my family in from Haiti. Times like this help me reflect on what is, what was and what is to come when it comes to the people that have raised us, ultimately defining us into the adults we are to become. That being said, music whether bad or good is truly the soundtrack of life. It is one thing all humans can agree on that even if we don't have language, the sounds that we utter to one another serves as a gateway into our emotions, sometimes even unwillingly. I believe that the same way that we can make music, music can also affect the decisions that we make. As tradition follows, so the first hour of 2013 gave me: 'Se La Gente Usasse Il Cuore' by Andrea Bocelli 'Ain't Cha' by Clipse featuring Re-Up Gang & Roscoe P. Goldchain 'One Love/People Get Ready' by Bob Marley 'Winter Wonderland' by human 'Hot in Herre' by Nelly 'Little Too Much' by Natasha Bedingfield 'Someday, We'll Be Together' by Diana Ross and the Supremes 'Slut Like You' by Pink 'Jane Doe' by Alicia Keys 'Put It In A Love Song' by Alicia Keys featuring Beyonce 'Hard To Say Goodbye' by Dreamgirls Motion Picture Cast 'Birthday Cake' by Rihanna 'Fat-Bottomed Girls' by Puck '2012' by Chris Brown 'Halloween Main Title' by John Carpenter 'Kidz Are So Small' by Deerhoof 'Selfish' by Britney Spears. Looking at this, it looks like it will be a roller coaster of a year. I find it interesting though that the last song of the year which would be timely placed around Christmas is Britney Spears' 'Selfish'. I say all in due time and let's make the best of it. Thank God for friends and family. Hope this finds you well and a happy new and healthy year!

The Man that I Love

Maybe I annoy you with my choices
Well, you annoy me sometimes too with your voice
But that ain't enough for me
To move out and move on
I'm just gonna love you like the man I love.

We don't have to hurry
You can take as long as you want
I'm holdin' steady
My heart's at home
With my hand behind you
I will catch you if you fall
Yeah, I'm gonna love you like the man I love.

Sometimes the world can make you feel
You're not welcome anymore
And you beat yourself up
You let yourself get mad
And in those times when you stop lovin'
That man I adore
You can relax
Because, babe, I got your back
Uh, I got you
Uh, Yeah
I don't wish to change you
You've got it under control
You wake up each day different
Another reason for me to keep holdin' on
I'm not attached to any way you're showing up
I'm just gonna love you like the man I love
Yeah, I'm gonna love you
Oh, Yeah I'm gonna love you
'Cause you're the man I love.

many thanks to Jason Mraz

If She Only Knew...

If she only knew... If she only knew that I didn't get to eat supper last night, she wouldn't have taken the extra cereal that Chris gave me at breakfast. She said, "Only one cereal for each student. That's the rule at this school!" If she only knew... If she only knew that I had to watch my little brother last night while momma was at the park with her friends, she wouldn't have punished me for not getting my homework done. If she only knew... If she only knew that I like to make stuff during science class, she would let us make rockets like Mrs. Bagen's class. Instead, we read about rockets from a book. If she only knew... If she only knew that her rules are as long as the lines at the city pool, she would make a shorter list that we could remember. If she only knew... If she only knew that my daddy left me and momma when I was two, she would stop telling me that she's going to call my daddy for a conference. If she only knew... If she only knew that I get really upset when Leonard talks about my momma, her biggest rule would be, "No talking about other people's mommas." If she only knew... If she only knew how much I love to draw, she would make me the class poster maker. Instead, she doesn't let me because my handwriting isn't so great. If she only knew... If she only knew that I need to talk if I'm going to learn, she wouldn't send me to the principal's office so much. She says my talking is disruptive in the classroom. She's the only person talking. In my opinion, that's a disruption. If she only knew... If she only knew that when she gets mad and screams at the class, it scares me. Last year, Ms. Stewley never raised her voice at me. Mrs. Stewley was quiet as a crook after midnight. When Mrs. Stewley talked, kids listened. If she only knew... If she only knew that some of the boys are trying to get me to join their gang, she would help me say, "No!". If she only knew... If she only knew how much I like to run, she would have told me about last week's track team sign-up. If she only knew... If she only knew how much I need my mentor here at school, she would let me see him more. He thinks I'm cool. If she only knew... If she only knew that I know stuff that she doesn't know. I know where to get bus tokens. I know what time the city bus passes the school. I know the best place to buy a pop. I know what time the sprinkler comes on at the park. I know what it means to be 'dissed'. I know how to live without electricity. I know how to entertain an entire room of people with my personality and humor. I know what churches have the best rummage sales. I know how to stay safe in my neighborhood. I know how to keep my clothes from being stolen at the laundromat. I know a lot more than she thinks I do.

Happy New Year 2012!

Keeping up with tradition, these are the songs of the first hour of 2012: 'Stigmatized' by The Calling; 'Dancing Queen' by the Glee Cast; 'Run The World (Jochen Simms Club Mix)' by Beyonce; 'Hypnotico' by Jennifer Lopez; 'Villain' by Jennifer Lopez; 'No Mozart' by Natasha Bedingfield; '(What Is) Love?' by Jennifer Lopez; 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me' by Elton John; 'Sacrifice' by Elton John; 'Turning Tables' by Adele; 'Runaway Baby' by Bruno mars; 'I Want Love' by Elton John; 'Somewhere In Brooklyn' by Bruno Mars; 'River' by the Glee Cast. Overall, music seems to define this year as a party with some time to relax, reflect and just take our time with ourselves and those around us. Best wishes to one and all and a thank you for all those who are in my life.

Light up the World.

One night, I read... "One of my friends majored in math & eventually got her Bachelors & teaching certification. She didn't love math, still after graduating she found herself teaching high school math in Dallas. She hated it, so after a couple of years she moved on to Texas Tech, where she TAed as she secured her Masters. She's now teaching in the Midwest, college level math, but her heart just is not in it. I got kind of lucky, during my last semester in the Social Work program @ UT, I served as a counseling intern at an Austin charter school. The science teacher there was teaching the life skills classes, and hating it, because that wasn't his area of focus. I expressed interest, and the following year, I was hired on as a counselor & teacher of life skills. I appreciated the experience, because for some time I knew that I wanted to eventually be a professor of Social Work, in large part because there were no Black, male professors during my stint in the program. There were some excellent sistas representing though, and I found myself automatically working harder in their classes, not wanting to disappoint them. I had a similar feeling when I took African American studies classes helmed by Black male professors. It was strange...instinctual. I just wanted to work harder to handle business. I think it was a combination of pride, and recognition of how spectacular it was that I, Black man, was being taught by Black people in a state that used to deny us the opportunity to learn & teach. I could not articulate that at the time, but that drive was powerful. That drive gave me an indication of what I wanted to be. It gave me an indication of how I would perform as a teacher, granted the opportunity to educate young minds. I felt that if a drive like that hit me as a student, it would most certainly help drive me as an educator. I was right. I loved teaching as much as I loved counseling. I didn't like the administrative politics mind, but the act of teaching and connecting with students, I loved... ...The difference between me and my girl, is she has felt none of that drive. She has just kind of been teaching by default, and hoping to stumble into her love. We have both discussed how when you feel those instincts, or that drive pulling you toward something positive, it is important that you move toward it. All that is to say, if math is not what you want to do, give the finger to the pressure. You teach what you feel passionate about. If you do so, you will bring the fullness of your passion into your work, and you will enjoy indescribable personal success. Spring of 2013, I'm going to be celebrating with you! In unrelated news.... ...do you remember this guy who told me a few years ago that he admired the fact that I was in a ten-year relationship & hoped to be there himself one day? His ass is halfway there." - Jay It's no news that people feed off of other's miseries. We make fun of those that are more successful than us, looking for their faults to make ourselves feel better, avoiding our own issues and insecurities until they blow up on our face and others'. As people these days, we fail to clearly define the difference between someone being our role model and envying that person. In the end, we lose ourselves and we're never happy with who we are but what is expected by society, by what is called 'living' by the standards of the media. We're constantly changing everything, constantly looking for something better because it's just simply never good enough. We're so obsessed with where we want to be that we forget to focus on where we are and in the end, we end up nowhere. But every now and then, you'll find someone who's patient, optimistic, and hopeful enough to give a shit. As I was once told, be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. Yet every now and then, you'll realize that every word is worth it.