"Frenemy" (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word, if you can believe it, has appeared in print as early as 1953. The concept itself, in my opinion seems to be an oxymoron, like a white negro. These social contradictions are what seem to be making up the norm of psychological behavior in Western culture nowadays. They're so enthralled in our system that they end up afflicting our judgment towards other social issues that were already difficult for us to deal with. What happens as a result is a redefinition of what a friendship truly is. As a result of that redefinition as well, it ends up hindering a true development of such friendship. Ultimately, if the members of this friendship decide to take the next step to further develop this relationship, this problem carries on to that level as well. To put this in relative perspective, it's just like engineering and architecture: if you have poor foundations, the building will not stand. The problem is, we are human and young at that. This applies to the older generation as well. It's unfortunate that the world is evolving and growing faster than they are because they are lost in translation and the young people who decide to take their "words of wisdom", these youngsters get conflicted themselves as they are torn between their static grandparents and the ever-dynamic society they are being raised in. Hell, New York City is a city that moves so fast that you can get Sunday's paper on Saturday. Whether it is out of love or a feeling of empowerment, the older generation constantly dispense advice to the younger generation in hopes that they don't make the same mistakes or to feel that they still have a sense of control over us. After all, advice is nothing more than a form of nostalgia, dispensing it being a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. I have to give credit to Baz Luhrmann for teaching me this.
So the question remains: how do you survive? Are you to be old and stubborn and hang on to your beliefs since they've gotten you this far, meaning you must be doing something right? Or are you to be young and stupid and make mistakes, learn from them and see how you can improve your life so that living long is not the only goal but optimally as well, preferably an improvement from your parents and/or grandparents? I'm still asking this question today. Granted I am only 24 so I have quite a while to figure it all out, God-willing. But what tends to happen is that one always to seem to find it difficult to fall exactly in between the two options. That balance is always thrown by some factor or somebody in our environment. We're either incredibly stubborn or too care-free and nonchalant, those being the two extremes of course. Living in New York City constantly pushes one to be independent. Before I took the time to find the origins of the term 'frenemy', I always assumed it was a byproduct of a modern metropolitan city that eradicated any possibility of a true and honest human network. That just seems too flaky for a city like New York. Empowerment is redefined around the sole concept of independence. At some point, empowerment used to be about a sense of security where one can be confident about who they are and not about putting up a shell so they don't get hurt. Now, insecurities take over people so strongly that it shows up on their physical aspects as well, the way they walk, the way they cross their arms, the way they go about their career...it's a constant and exhausting competition because you, as the individual, is certain that someone will try and pull the rug from right under you and walk all over you. As Thomas Fuller, an English physician once said, "With foxes, we must play the fox."
In the 18th century, when asked of the meaning of friendship, George Washington replied: "Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." Understanding the meaning between a friend and an acquaintance. Semantics are everything. It may seem like it's just a word of reference but the mind is tricky and repeating something to yourself over and over like an affirmation sticks to that mind. It can be a dangerous inception as the term 'friend' is used too loosely and decisions are made without the realization of the consequences. Realize who the friends are and hold them close but careful of new friendships if they are taking the path of becoming frenemies. At the same time, understand that friendships can be kicked around like a football and it won't seem to crack without forgetting to take into account that it can be like glass and go to pieces.
