Cooper Union: My gift, my curse.

...The prices we pay for being gifted...That was probably the most arrogant statement I've ever uttered in my life. But that talent got us here, The Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art. But that talent failed to prepare us for competing talentswhich we would have to face in the school, some of which we can beat, others which will crush us. How we handle it is really up to us. And how do we?

" I can't take this anymore"
"I'm under so much stress right now"
"I don't think I can last for five years"
"She might be leaving us soon"
"She's in the hospital. She had a breakdown"
"I'm on academic warning"
"I'm just pissed and annoyed"
"I'm just mad the work up there isn't me and I wasn't able to express my ideas"
"I lied to you. I'm in the closet."


These are the words I have heard from a few of my friends this past week in architecture school. I couldn't help but look back at the first day we started: all of us strangers to each other, not knowing what awaits us with those walls, that feeling of excitement of making new friends, of starting college, of wondering who that older blue-eyed hunk is and all the perks that come with starting fresh. Most of us were freshmen, fresh out of high school, where we were la créme de la créme and excelled at almost everything. I remember those days...three years ago as I just stepped into Cooper Union, with my ego bigger than former porn start Pamela Anderson's breasts. But engineering school proved to me that there were a whole lot of people, much better at what I loved and wanted to do for the rest of my life than I was. And in a competitive school where every man is for himself, failure knocks on every door. And when it comes, most of us aren't prepared and each of us have our own way of reacting to it: we cry, we have tantrums, we get depressed, we blame everyone else but us, we try to be there for each other, we fight it... while the rest of us just give up and feel incompetent.
Now that I switched schools, I witness these same faces for a second time, only this time, I wasn't one of them because I was prepared. I knew what was coming. That's why for every tear that I would see drop, I was there to wipe them. For every frown that I saw, I was there to bring them back up. And you know why? Because this is the only way we can survive this: by working together, by helping each other out. That way, that goodness can be paid forward for the next unknowing soul to come through these doors. That way, we grow closer to each. We begin to trust each other. We begin to be become not just a family, but a lot more than that. And of we can manage to do that together, we'll kick the hell out of this insitution and show it we mean business and we're here to fuckin' STAY!!!

How To Save A Life

Last night, while hanging out with my friends in the city, I got a call from my aunt in Haiti, fearing for my mother's ailing health. What she expected me to do, like stay home more and help out more around the house were not easy due to Cooper's requirements. After we were done talking, that's when my friends saw a side of me they never did: I cried. I was on the floor, in tears because for the first time, I realized that despite how much me and my mom argue, how we have so many differences against each other, how many faults we have hindering our relationship from progressing, for the first I realized that I truly do love this woman for everything she's ever done for me and my little brother all by herself. We hadn't spoken for a week prior to yesterday and I didn't know what the reason was. And I honestly didn't care. And then suddenly...I did and it was an overwhelming feeling that completely took over me to the point that I couldn't stand anymore and stop showing this mask to my friends. Everytime, I have always been there for them, Goya, Galit, Kellan, all of them. But I never gave them a chance to be there for me because it was always about everyone else before me. And then last night, they were all there for me, and I think some of those tears were from that as well. To quote one of my favorite songs, "Everyone needs a sense of belonging. Someone there to truly understand. The precious gifts can come from empty hands" ...and those gifts did come...from many hands.
Last night, my life was saved. I decided to stay home today and that's when I saw a side of my mom I hadn't seen in a long time: a smile, that motherly comfort we all long for, we all want to run to whenever we're feeling down and kicked around...that home sweet home feeling. And that's how I saved her life.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


How to save a life
How to save a life


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


How to save a life

- The Fray