So...

What can I say? For seven months now, I have been in the most intriguing, the most surprising, the most interesting, the most disturbing, the most aggravating and the most loving relationship I have ever been in. Thing is for the very first time, I truly understand what loving someone like that is. I've been in relationships before and I've said the word before, but it hasn't meant anywhere near what it means now. During the day, I think about him. At night, I dream about him and I sure as hell know we don't choose our dreams. I don't care about parents telling me it's corruption and a sin. I don't care about psychiatrists telling me it's logical and can be fixed. I just don't anymore...because I can't. I'm tired of having to constantly validate my happiness because of conventions. I'm tired of constantly having to be questioned about my "choices" by people who know nothing about the issue and just concoct a series of assumptions based on what they've read and studied by a series of people who themselves are not part of this. God works in mysterious ways and call me blasphemous if you want, but I believe this is one of his ways. He preaches that He rewards you for your good actions. I believe this is my reward: the love that I have for this man and that is returned to me. I can't say I can't live without him because I know I can. I just don't want to. This is my choice. And what makes me make that choice? All of the circumstances that brought us to this end. And when you're faced with that reality that you're going to be away from him for a long time, is it fright that you might lose him? Or is it fright that you might lose yourself without him? The former seems more like a case of insecurity. The latter is insecurity as well, except that it's both of you, together and that little difference has that big of an impact. Everything happens for a reason, they say. I still think that's a load of horse shit. But one guy whom I said I loved showed a different side of him I didn't know existed after I made a decision that didn't involve him, but involved my family. After this deed was done, he held a grudge against me, throwing us away from each other until it ended.
So is it true that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? Or is it that you don't know what you've got until it's going away? Relationships tests us this way. Being together all the time is great but how strong do you think you are? Can you survive a month or two without each other? Are you gonna be the same when he or she comes back? Or does it all fall apart and you realize you never had any foundations in the first place? Can I answer these questions about myself? Time can be a bitch...but only she can really tell you how and where you stand with your partner or regarding anything in your life.

So For Three Years Now...

So began a new year. For me, it was coming back, like a new season but with completely different characters, with occasional guest appearances by the old characters. For others, it was a whole new world.
So I made new friends, new alliances with the sole purpose of starting fresh and preventing the mistakes of the past two years.
So we began to trust each other and helping each other out and making sure none of us fall behind.
So we begin to realize how good we are, how much better we can get, sometimes at the expense of others, our own classmates, our own friends.
So the competition begins for the survival of the fittest as the four horsemen of the apocalypse pick their favorites.
So we lost four...
So differences began to rise, jealousy stealthily took over each desk one by one, Narcissus' dark hand supporting many.
So we made enemies, so we started hating each other,... so we sweat, so we bleed, so we cry
So we hate each other to the point that we realize our enemy is a great asset
So secrets are revealed one by one
So in just one night, I manage to disrespect a good friend and ruin that friendship
So slowly each desk begins to come down one by one
So people start disappearing one by one
So the massive room becomes less and less crowded
So it ends...

With Great Power Comes Great Responsobility...With Great Speed Comes Little Understanding

Like any follower of pop culture, my ass was dragged on opening day to see Spider-Man 3 with my friends in Manhattan. I saw it again with my family that sunday in good ol' Westchester. The two locations, less than an hour away yet an ocean separates them. However do I mean? The third installment of Spider-Man 3 revolves a lot around character development. We see more of the changes Peter Parker is going through with Mary Jane, Harry Osbourne, etc. than the web-slinger himself. Now this movie was to open the summer blockbuster movies, you know, the epics, the action, the CGI, the ogres, the pirates and so much more. The same was expected for Spider-Man, expecting as much action as possible. Many people were sorely disappointed. At some point, someone in the theater asked, "Is this Spider-Man or The OC?". In the city, people were just not digging this movie. They came to see Spider-Man kick Venom's ass, not work things out with Mary Jane and be involved in a soap-operish love triangle. A lot of times, it was impossible to hear what was going on because people were laughing at the characters' emotions. Sensitivity was just not a factor here.
Then on Sunday, in Westchester, the movie received a completely different reaction. Though the elementary kids were bored at some parts, whichever had any dialogue, the young adults and the old adults were quite attentive. They were responding as any normal people to the emotions being displayed on the screen. Sam Raimi has managed to involve the audience into his movie. But why wasn't he succesful in Manhattan?
My life has taken interesting twists, from living on a Carribean Island, picking fruits from a tree, no electricity, tropical heat, the simple and slow life. Then I moved tot he big apple, where my first day, I was almost roadkill by a speeding wheelchair. Do you see the difference? It's the way of life. New York City or any major city is cynical, dark, depressing at times, fast-paced and careless. This, in turn, affects the people that live in this city. Emotions become trivial. Tears and sadness are ridiculed or ignored. People become desensitized much to our dismay, as we no longer have any more shoulders for us to lean on. We become lonely. We become depressed. Eventually, we disappear, hoping someone somewhere will be able to notice us and pick us right back up. We allegedly evolved, but I honestly feel we are back at the stone age.