Light up the World.

One night, I read... "One of my friends majored in math & eventually got her Bachelors & teaching certification. She didn't love math, still after graduating she found herself teaching high school math in Dallas. She hated it, so after a couple of years she moved on to Texas Tech, where she TAed as she secured her Masters. She's now teaching in the Midwest, college level math, but her heart just is not in it. I got kind of lucky, during my last semester in the Social Work program @ UT, I served as a counseling intern at an Austin charter school. The science teacher there was teaching the life skills classes, and hating it, because that wasn't his area of focus. I expressed interest, and the following year, I was hired on as a counselor & teacher of life skills. I appreciated the experience, because for some time I knew that I wanted to eventually be a professor of Social Work, in large part because there were no Black, male professors during my stint in the program. There were some excellent sistas representing though, and I found myself automatically working harder in their classes, not wanting to disappoint them. I had a similar feeling when I took African American studies classes helmed by Black male professors. It was strange...instinctual. I just wanted to work harder to handle business. I think it was a combination of pride, and recognition of how spectacular it was that I, Black man, was being taught by Black people in a state that used to deny us the opportunity to learn & teach. I could not articulate that at the time, but that drive was powerful. That drive gave me an indication of what I wanted to be. It gave me an indication of how I would perform as a teacher, granted the opportunity to educate young minds. I felt that if a drive like that hit me as a student, it would most certainly help drive me as an educator. I was right. I loved teaching as much as I loved counseling. I didn't like the administrative politics mind, but the act of teaching and connecting with students, I loved... ...The difference between me and my girl, is she has felt none of that drive. She has just kind of been teaching by default, and hoping to stumble into her love. We have both discussed how when you feel those instincts, or that drive pulling you toward something positive, it is important that you move toward it. All that is to say, if math is not what you want to do, give the finger to the pressure. You teach what you feel passionate about. If you do so, you will bring the fullness of your passion into your work, and you will enjoy indescribable personal success. Spring of 2013, I'm going to be celebrating with you! In unrelated news.... ...do you remember this guy who told me a few years ago that he admired the fact that I was in a ten-year relationship & hoped to be there himself one day? His ass is halfway there." - Jay It's no news that people feed off of other's miseries. We make fun of those that are more successful than us, looking for their faults to make ourselves feel better, avoiding our own issues and insecurities until they blow up on our face and others'. As people these days, we fail to clearly define the difference between someone being our role model and envying that person. In the end, we lose ourselves and we're never happy with who we are but what is expected by society, by what is called 'living' by the standards of the media. We're constantly changing everything, constantly looking for something better because it's just simply never good enough. We're so obsessed with where we want to be that we forget to focus on where we are and in the end, we end up nowhere. But every now and then, you'll find someone who's patient, optimistic, and hopeful enough to give a shit. As I was once told, be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. Yet every now and then, you'll realize that every word is worth it.

Friend of 'Frenemy'...

"Frenemy" (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word, if you can believe it, has appeared in print as early as 1953. The concept itself, in my opinion seems to be an oxymoron, like a white negro. These social contradictions are what seem to be making up the norm of psychological behavior in Western culture nowadays. They're so enthralled in our system that they end up afflicting our judgment towards other social issues that were already difficult for us to deal with. What happens as a result is a redefinition of what a friendship truly is. As a result of that redefinition as well, it ends up hindering a true development of such friendship. Ultimately, if the members of this friendship decide to take the next step to further develop this relationship, this problem carries on to that level as well. To put this in relative perspective, it's just like engineering and architecture: if you have poor foundations, the building will not stand. The problem is, we are human and young at that. This applies to the older generation as well. It's unfortunate that the world is evolving and growing faster than they are because they are lost in translation and the young people who decide to take their "words of wisdom", these youngsters get conflicted themselves as they are torn between their static grandparents and the ever-dynamic society they are being raised in. Hell, New York City is a city that moves so fast that you can get Sunday's paper on Saturday. Whether it is out of love or a feeling of empowerment, the older generation constantly dispense advice to the younger generation in hopes that they don't make the same mistakes or to feel that they still have a sense of control over us. After all, advice is nothing more than a form of nostalgia, dispensing it being a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. I have to give credit to Baz Luhrmann for teaching me this.
So the question remains: how do you survive? Are you to be old and stubborn and hang on to your beliefs since they've gotten you this far, meaning you must be doing something right? Or are you to be young and stupid and make mistakes, learn from them and see how you can improve your life so that living long is not the only goal but optimally as well, preferably an improvement from your parents and/or grandparents? I'm still asking this question today. Granted I am only 24 so I have quite a while to figure it all out, God-willing. But what tends to happen is that one always to seem to find it difficult to fall exactly in between the two options. That balance is always thrown by some factor or somebody in our environment. We're either incredibly stubborn or too care-free and nonchalant, those being the two extremes of course. Living in New York City constantly pushes one to be independent. Before I took the time to find the origins of the term 'frenemy', I always assumed it was a byproduct of a modern metropolitan city that eradicated any possibility of a true and honest human network. That just seems too flaky for a city like New York. Empowerment is redefined around the sole concept of independence. At some point, empowerment used to be about a sense of security where one can be confident about who they are and not about putting up a shell so they don't get hurt. Now, insecurities take over people so strongly that it shows up on their physical aspects as well, the way they walk, the way they cross their arms, the way they go about their career...it's a constant and exhausting competition because you, as the individual, is certain that someone will try and pull the rug from right under you and walk all over you. As Thomas Fuller, an English physician once said, "With foxes, we must play the fox."
In the 18th century, when asked of the meaning of friendship, George Washington replied: "Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." Understanding the meaning between a friend and an acquaintance. Semantics are everything. It may seem like it's just a word of reference but the mind is tricky and repeating something to yourself over and over like an affirmation sticks to that mind. It can be a dangerous inception as the term 'friend' is used too loosely and decisions are made without the realization of the consequences. Realize who the friends are and hold them close but careful of new friendships if they are taking the path of becoming frenemies. At the same time, understand that friendships can be kicked around like a football and it won't seem to crack without forgetting to take into account that it can be like glass and go to pieces.

What is a philosophical question?

To explain in just one paragraph the definition, per se, of a philosophical question, is quite impossible. What I can possibly do is an interpretation of my perception of what a philosophical question is. I say a philosophical question is a question that makes us think, analyze, ponder and ultimately come up with a resolution...right? Maybe. Frankly, that would just make it a thesis statement or a subject to an essay. So what exactly is the difference? In my opinion, a philosophical question never has a resolution. The beauty of philosophy is the conversation of minds, thoughts, emotions, which considering the human psyche is constantly changing. It is never in one state and it is as volatile as it can be perceived as bipolar. It is the worst gray area between a never-ending interchangeable black and white. Ultimately, it comes down to why. Always...or maybe?

Ellipse.

You and me between the sheets
It just doesn't get better than this
The many windswept yellow stickies of my mind
Or the molten, emotional front line
I couldn't care less
I'm transfixed in this absolute bliss
Sweet sleepless, tumbling night
Oh, and the morning on your skin
A loved up light
Tracing patterns in the maze of your back
Softly, softly the goose bumps like that
And then a kiss...
Maybe another,
And another one.

An hour down already...

Suite from X2 - John Ottman
Ten Crack Commandments - Notorious B.I.G.
Just Don't Give A Fuck - Eminem
Airplanes (Part 2) - B.O.B. featuring Hayley Williams & Eminem
Sing for the Moment - Eminem
You're Da Man - Nas
Fireman - Lil' Wayne
What More Can I Say - Jay-Z
Memory Lane (Sittin' In Da Park) - Nas
The World Is Yours - Nas
It Ain't Hard To Tell - Nas
Represent - Nas
One Mic - Nas
Casualties of a Dice Game - Big L

Listen closely, my friends.

Happy New Year to all and theirs!