Late Night Discourse on Human Understanding.

02:05 Noah
hah!
I have this great image of you in a pith helmet with an elephant gun in the african bush,
and in your scope you have a fat, bermuda-shorts clad asshole, scratching his ass.
Fratboys outside my window are having a really stupid drunken argument
02:06 Jan-Kristof
are they shirtless?
02:06 Noah
one is accusing the other of touching his deck chair
shirtless, and with a BAL approaching point five
02:07 Jan-Kristof
Oh, how I envy you
02:07 Noah
No, I don't think so
picture the stupidest argument you've ever overheard your neighbors having at two oh seven in the morning
02:08 Jan-Kristof
oh, trust me
02:08 Noah
and multiply it by twelve drunken kentucky rednecks who are dipping tobacco
02:08 Jan-Kristof
I live in the village of Tuckahoe
mkay, I don't think it's gotten taht bad
02:09 Noah
one of them now is accusing the other of trying to set him on fire with his beer.
02:09 Jan-Kristof
that*
02:09 Noah
I think we all need to go to bed.
02:09 Jan-Kristof
Well then
I think so
pour hot water on them
it works with raccoons
02:09 Noah
hehehe.
I actually have a kettle
it's an intriguing idea at that
but they're just beyond my trajectory
I'd have to throw the kettle, or ask them to step right below my window
(which they probably would0
now they're arguing about whether a non-american citizen can wear an american pie shirt.
truly
these boys are morons.
02:10 Jan-Kristof
what is going on!??!!?
02:10 Noah
a typical thursday night just north of the mason-dixon line
I wish you could hear this shit.
They're talking about whether german immigrants are more american than mexican immigrants
because the germans have a better (?) airports.
ok......
02:12 Jan-Kristof
I seriously feel like you're making this up
02:12 Noah
I only wish that were true
they're at the stage of drunkenness where they are like, really, really serious
and it's fucking hilarious.
02:14 Jan-Kristof
Good grief
02:14 Noah
"shut the fuck up you fucking cocksucking prick dick fuck, you're just making the same point over and over." "Fuck you faggot, I am a Bearcat, not a fucking wolverine"
"Fuck that shit asshatdick, if I go to the university of american cincinnati, then I wear a university of american cincinnati bearcat of america shirt.
"
Truly these men have a way with words
02:15 Jan-Kristof
If this was a porno, they would starting sucking each other off now
02:15 Noah
I am ashamed to say that come mid June, some of these mental giants may actually receive degrees.
HAH!
It's so true
they're all shirtless, and one guy just took off his pants (no underwear) to protest the other guy's gayness.
I am not sure how that works
02:16 Jan-Kristof
Graduation should be interesting
That would not be commencement as many of them may drop dead from alcohol poisoning
02:17 Noah
If evolution is right about anything, I hope its that you're right.
these guys have trouble opening automatic doors
02:17 Jan-Kristof
This is material for a sticom
02:17 Noah
or an arrest report
and now my suitemate's smoking pot
fucking hell
02:18 Jan-Kristof
my goodness!
02:18 Noah
it is such a disgusting smell
02:18 Jan-Kristof
it tastes even worse
02:18 Noah
I know
and he has eaten two xl bags of butter popcorn in the last twenty minutes
I had maybe eight hundred calories today, and he's matched that in a half hour.
02:19 Jan-Kristof
Good God, that is disgusting
careful, he might eat you next
02:20 Noah
I keep my door locked
he also walks around naked
or in,
02:20 Jan-Kristof
oh no!
02:20 Noah
and you wont believe this...
he wears thongs
at least, I think those were thongs
02:20 Jan-Kristof
....
02:20 Noah
on a three hundred fifty pound person, it can be hard to tell
02:20 Jan-Kristof
I don't know what to say anymore
02:20 Noah
he is also the hairiest person I have ever met
02:21 Jan-Kristof
oh no
You don't know hairy
02:21 Noah
he looks like a cross between a bear and a coors drinking porcupine.
02:22 Noah
at this point, the popcorn is actually harder to deal with than the pot
02:23 Jan-Kristof
I have to post this conversation as a blog
02:23 Noah
It has been unusually witty, hasn't it?
02:24 Jan-Kristof
Oh, indeed
and quite strange in ways that should not exist

- May 29th, 2009