Homosexual Porno!

As some of you may recall, a few weeks ago, I wrote an entry on the beauties of heterosexual pornography (Foreskin Gump, anyone?). But nothing beats homosexual pornography when it comes to acting, plot, turning point and climax. The stories are unprecedented and uncanny. I mean, it's porn, do we really care about any previous stories or character development? The only character we care about developing is the throbbing members that are the protagonist of these stories. But the scenarios and the innuendos they come up with, though obscenely disturbing (plumber coming to check your pipes, hello!!!!), even coming up with the names requires wit and intelligence.

But let's honestly think about this: do we need a story for porn? I mean, isn't the reason why we watch it just so we can get aroused, pound and go about our business? We don't care that the couple is having troubles and one of them is having an affair with couple's counselor. We want to see and observe the affair...explicitly...just the way porn was made to entertain.
Another thing that should definitely not be a factor in these movies is acting. I mean, it already isn't but these guys and dolls should honestly not try remotely to act. It literally kills the mood and bring the dollar value down quite a notch.

Another thing I love about gay porn is the tag lines. For example, the other day, I saw "Throbbin' Hood: Men In Tights" and underneath the title it said, "a tale of epic contortions". he images that come to one's head with just that one line is indubitably proof that you're about to purchase good porn.

So now you know the basics for good pornography. Let's recap:
1. Inspiring name (Drill Bill: Volume 1 is clearly a classic)
2. No story or plot necessary
3. No acting
4. Erotic tagline
and with that said and done, I sign off!